*is in the manga section of the bookshop* *sees another person* HAHA! what a nerd
so me and my siblings (theres 3 of us) were eating dinner with my dad and we were talking about dad jokes and all of a sudden my dad goes “ive only made 3 jokes in my life and theyre all sitting in front of me”
the dad joke to end all dad jokes
I’m going to make a youtube video entitled
"Shit ALL men say”
and it will consist only of the phrase “But not all men say that~!!”
And then I’ll wait for men to stare at their keyboards in utter distress as they contemplate the paradox of their intense desire and desperation to inform me that not all men say that.
I will break them.
Being able to find someone you click with so naturally is the best feeling ever. You feel like you’ve been best friends you’re whole life, it feels like you’re coming home. You’re so comfortable with them. Maybe that’s what a soulmate is. Not someone who shares every single thing in common with you, but someone who feels like home.
you have 10 seconds to think of a way to make the average vampire movie fresh and new and exciting again
A vampire going through the daily struggles of trying to hide his ever lasting boner— as rigor mortis is an unkind friend.
Adulthood doesn’t mean you stop drinking juice pouches and eating fruit snacks. It means buying your own.
and mixing them with vodka
At 3 in the morning while marathoning your favorite show because nobody can tell you to go to bed.
And then regretting your decisions the next morning.
Because you have to work.
and make more money to buy fruit snacks and juice pouches.and vodka